Alternative Thinking Philosophy
This site is not affiliated with any religion and espouses
no religious views. - © Roger M. Bondy
Alternative Thinking Philosophy is a self-help website
for you to learn the philosophies of others
that will bring more truth into your life, thereby creating more love, joy and happiness in your life.
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Being Yourself
"To the degree that I care about what you think
of me,
I will alter my behavior to please you." Copyright Roger M. Bondy
Abraham Mazlow Quote:
"The highest quality that a human being can reach
is to be independent of the good opinion of others."
From Self Actualization Psychology by Abraham Mazlow
Many people alter their behavior with the only reason being to please another person. They do this with the hope that this other person will like them. This action of altering one's behavior so you might please someone other than you so this other person will like you is self-defeating. When you alter your behavior to please someone other than your self, then you are not being true yourself, you are being an actor or actress. The other person you are trying to please might like the actor or actress, whichever the case may be. They undoubtedly do not get to know the real you, so they still do not like the real you; they like the actor or actress. For a person to like the real you, you must not pretend to be something you are not. Another consideration regarding pretending, is that the person who would like the real you never gets to see the real you. In that case you may have lost the possibility of having a real friend that likes the real you. A suggestion to consider is behave like the real you until you decide you need to make a change. Furthermore, never make changes for the only reason of pleasing another person. You might listen to their suggestions and then contemplate and decide if acting on their recommendation will make a better person according to your opinion of what a better person is. Beware of the trap that this other person may want you to be like them so they can validate their own self. Could that mean that they do not like who they are? Maybe they are thinking if more people behaved as I do my behavior would be acceptable. Is this the kind of person who you think is important to like you?
From Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou can not then be false to any man.”
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